Feeling Good Should Be Easy — But It’s Not

Most people think the hardest part of healing will be the grief, the pain, the confrontation. And don’t get me wrong — that part is brutal.

But what no one prepares you for is this:

When things actually get better, it can feel terrifying.

Not because something is wrong — but because it’s unfamiliar.

You finally feel lightness after years of weight.

Peace after constant scanning.

And suddenly, your body doesn’t trust it.

When I was growing up, my mom called it the undertow.

If things felt too good, something bad must be coming.

So even in joy, I was bracing for the pull — the crash that would take it all away.

The body remembers what it learned:

Don’t relax. Don’t enjoy this. Don’t let it land.

But impermanence isn’t punishment.

In Buddhist tradition, impermanence is a truth woven into every part of life. It’s not something to fear — it’s something to walk with.

As the Dhammapada says:

"All conditioned things are impermanent — when one sees this with wisdom, one turns away from suffering."

This turning — away from suffering — doesn’t mean refusing pain.

It means learning to hold joy, too.

Even if it’s shaky. Even if it reminds you of a time before things fell apart.

Even if it brings up guilt, or grief, or the fear of losing it.

🍵 Drink warm lemon balm or tulsi tea. Let it calm your nervous system gently.
💧 Take a contrast shower — end on cold. It helps your body integrate new states.
✍🏼 Journal the phrase: “I’m allowed to feel good, even if it doesn’t last.” and see what comes up.
🌅 Watch something beautiful (the sunrise, your kid sleeping, the sky moving) and let it move you.
📿 Say thank you — out loud — Gratitude can keep you in gratitude.
📱 Share how you're feeling with someone who won’t try to fix it. Just let yourself be witnessed.