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Feeling Good Should Be Easy — But It’s Not

  • Writer: thegirlymum
    thegirlymum
  • May 16
  • 2 min read


Most people think the hardest part of healing will be the grief, the pain, the confrontation. And don’t get me wrong — that part is brutal.


But what no one prepares you for is this: 

When things actually get better, it can feel terrifying.


Not because something is wrong — but because it’s unfamiliar. 

You finally feel lightness after years of weight.

Peace after constant scanning. 

And suddenly, your body doesn’t trust it.


When I was growing up, my mom called it the undertow. 

If things felt too good, something bad must be coming. 

So even in joy, I was bracing for the pull — the crash that would take it all away.


The body remembers what it learned: 

Don’t relax. Don’t enjoy this. Don’t let it land.


But impermanence isn’t punishment.


In Buddhist tradition, impermanence is a truth woven into every part of life. It’s not something to fear — it’s something to walk with.


As the Dhammapada says:

"All conditioned things are impermanent — when one sees this with wisdom, one turns away from suffering."

This turning — away from suffering — doesn’t mean refusing pain. 

It means learning to hold joy, too. 

Even if it’s shaky. Even if it reminds you of a time before things fell apart. 

Even if it brings up guilt, or grief, or the fear of losing it.


If this is where you are — here’s what can help:


  • 🍵 Drink warm lemon balm or tulsi tea. Let it calm your nervous system gently.

  • 💧 Take a contrast shower — end on cold. It helps your body integrate new states.

  • ✍🏼 Journal the phrase: “I’m allowed to feel good, even if it doesn’t last.” and see what comes up.

  • 🌅 Watch something beautiful (the sunrise, your kid sleeping, the sky moving) and let it move you.

  • 📿 Say thank you — out loud — Gratitude can keep you in gratitude.

  • 📱 Share how you're feeling with someone who won’t try to fix it. Just let yourself be witnessed.


You are allowed to feel good. 

Even if it doesn’t last. 

Even if it doesn’t feel safe. 

Even if some part of you doesn’t believe you’ve earned it.

Let it in. Let it feel weird. Let it stretch you.


In service to the highest good,


Lindsay

 
 
 

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