Control - The Energy Behind Suppression

thegirlymum
Jun 30
5 min read

Updated: 6 days ago

You don’t think you’re controlling.

You just want things done right.

You’re not bossy — you’re responsible.

You’re not micromanaging — you’re being thorough.

You’re not suppressing anything — you’re just trying to keep the peace.

You’re not anxious — you’re prepared.

Right?

Right??

Most control doesn’t look like control.

It looks like caregiving, intelligence, productivity, wellness.

It looks like having your sh*t together.

Until one day, it doesn’t.

Until your digestion is a disaster,

your kids are walking on eggshells,

your chest is buzzing,

your jaw won’t unclench,

you’ve been constipated for a week,

and you’re carrying extra weight that no amount of discipline or detoxing seems to touch.

Control weighs you down.

Not just emotionally — physically.

Because when your system is in a state of chronic suppression, it holds.

It holds water, waste, emotion, energy, inflammation, fat —

anything it doesn’t feel safe enough to release.

That weight isn’t dysfunction.

It’s protection — a buffer between you and the chaos you’ve been trying to outmaneuver.

A layer between you and the disaster you’ve been working so hard to prevent.

Why We Try to Control

Likely because one day, when your guard was down and you were happy, something bad happened.

And your body decided: never again.

So now we try to control outcomes, people, and symptoms because the alternative feels

too uncertain.

Too vulnerable.

Too exposed.

We control our children so we don’t feel helpless.
We control our partners so we don’t feel abandoned.
We control our health so we don’t feel fragile.
We control the narrative so we don’t feel misunderstood.

We try to manage the moment, edit the emotion, steer the storyline —

and when that doesn’t work, we suppress.

But suppression doesn’t actually solve the problem.

It just buries it deeper.

And eventually, what’s buried starts leaking out.

Suppression Leaks: When Control Turns to Contempt

You can see it everywhere right now — not just in bodies, but in behavior.

All over the internet, people aren’t just sharing opinions —

they’re trying to control the conversation through their "comments".

Shutting down nuance.
Overcorrecting others.
Policing tone.
Dismissing complexity.
Rewriting someone else’s experience in real time — because they can't tolerate ambiguity or dissent.

That’s not confidence.

That’s a nervous system under siege.

When the internal environment is clenched, so is the external response.

What looks like moral authority is often just emotional inflammation —

the side effect of years of suppressing the real issue.

If you can’t sit with your own discomfort (even on the internet),

you will try to control everyone else’s behavior.

When “Fixing It” Just Makes It Worse

We do this in our bodies too. We don’t ask why something is happening — we just want it gone.

Kill the microbe.
Stop the cough.
Cut the skin tag.
Silence the feeling.

But healing isn’t the absence of symptoms.

Healing is the presence of movement —

of the system trying to process, eliminate, transform.

When we shut that process down because it’s inconvenient or uncomfortable,

we’re not healing — we’re suppressing.

And over time, suppression creates new issues.

A rash cleared with steroids becomes asthma.
A chronic infection “managed” with antibiotics becomes anxiety.
A suppressed emotion becomes a personality pattern you can’t unwind.

Most people don’t trace the new problem back to the original suppression —

because we were never taught that symptoms follow a direction.

But your body is always trying to finish a story.

And control interrupts the ending.

How Homeopathy Helps

Homeopathy doesn’t control the body.

It stimulates the body to complete the process it was already trying to do.

Instead of silencing symptoms, we listen to them.

Instead of suppressing, we support release.

A well-matched remedy says to the body:

“I see what you’re doing. Let me help you do it more fully.”

That might look like:

A lingering grief finally surfacing — and leaving.
A chronic skin condition moving out through the lungs and then resolving.
A controlling mindset softening as the fear underneath it gets metabolized.

Control treats symptoms like enemies.

Homeopathy treats symptoms like messengers.

Your Miasm Is Showing

Control doesn’t come out of nowhere.

It usually follows an old pattern — one you didn’t invent,

but one that’s been running the show for generations.

Each miasm (the energetic terrain that shapes your chronic tendencies)

expresses control in a slightly different flavor.

Here’s how to spot your style of control:

Psora (grind & guilt):
You’re the queen of striving.
You think if you just do more, work harder, or find the right answer,
it’ll all finally settle down.
Control looks like constant effort — and chronic fatigue.
Sycosis (mask & manage):
You hide the chaos by over-curating your routines,
your image, and your emotions.
It has to look okay, even if it’s not.
Control looks like perfection — but underneath, you’re exhausted from keeping it all together.
Syphilis (despair & sabotage):
You swing from hyper-control to total meltdown.
It’s all-or-nothing.
When it doesn’t go perfectly, you scrap the whole thing and punish yourself for not being better.
Control looks like destroying it all before someone else does.
Tubercular (drift & dodge):
You control by avoiding.
You ghost, escape, overtravel, or make a new plan every five minutes.
Movement becomes your management tool.
Control looks like freedom — but feels like fragmentation.
Cancer (martyr & martyrdom):
You carry everyone else’s pain, anticipating their needs so they never have to ask.
You control emotions by absorbing them.
Control looks like caretaking — but often comes with bitterness and burnout.

Recognize yourself?

You’re not alone.

But you are invited to loosen your grip.

When We Stop Controlling…

Letting go isn’t recklessness.

It’s relationship.

It’s trust in a system that knows how to regulate itself — if you stop telling it to shut up.

When we stop controlling:

The symptom often resolves on its own.
The child begins to self-organize.
The conversation softens instead of escalating.
The body finally exhales.
The thing we feared... passes, because we didn’t resist it.

Control makes us believe we’re the only thing holding it all together.

But surrender shows us what life does when we get out of the way.

Movement happens.

Healing happens.

Peace happens — not because we forced it, but because we trusted it.

Want to Let Go? Start Here.

Control isn’t something you just drop.

It unravels — when you feel safe enough to loosen your grip.

Here are some ways to begin:

Gentle Ways to Work With Control

Notice where you clench in your body when things feel uncertain — jaw, fists, gut — and breathe into that space.
Practice pausing before fixing, correcting, or “managing” someone else’s experience.
Ask yourself: What am I afraid will happen if I don’t control this?
Let yourself feel the emotion beneath the need to control — fear, grief, rejection, confusion.
Let the mess exist — and watch what happens when you don’t clean it up right away.

Supportive Adjuncts

Mag phos tissue salts – for physical and emotional release from tension and rigidity
Lemon balm tea – to calm looping thoughts and restore nervous system softness
Journal Prompt – “What would I be without this problem to manage?”
Evening ritual – Lie down and say out loud: It’s safe to stop controlling right now.
Then do nothing for 3 minutes.
Try one small act of sacred surrender today — let someone help you, show up without a plan, or say “I don’t know” and mean it.